My double life…

So, you know how you used to daydream and fantasize a lot when you were a kid and/or teenager? Well, I was one of those kids referred to as “dreamy” way back when. The thing is though, I never grew out of it. I just got better at hiding it. And I don’t mind, not the slightest. It’s a fun way to pass an otherwise long and boring bus ride.

Ah, the daydreams I’ve had these past few months. Randomly meeting the Marine again, in all its possible variations. My creativity hasn’t got much of a limit. During my travels I went all out – I might even have entertained some fantasies about some professor I crushed on in my early twenties. 

Needless to say, I’ve fantasized about that guy I met in Bangkok. The one whose number I got, but gotten out of touch with during my travels in Cambodia – ok, full disclosure, he didn’t respond to the last text and I didn’t want to multi-text. I knew he was in Vietnam, so I let my creative fantasy double run loose. Where’s the harm in that? 

The best (or worst) one I had, was sitting down for a ca phé sūá in some quaint little cafe shop in a remote town – where I’d be entertaining the eloquent conversation of, well, my professor. Then he would just happen to walk by and only the righteous man would win. Of course I never reach the outcome because I overthink each and every detail and just bore myself to sleep. 

Then, today. In Saigon. I’m having some beers with Bill from my hostel. Bill is your average, run of the mill, midlife-crisis kind of guy. The venue was far from fancy – it was a dirt cheap watering hole where the beers were cold and forthcoming. I told Bill that I thought I saw this Bangkok guy passing me by on an intersection earlier today. 

Lo and behold, who walks by a mere 30 seconds later? Right. Bangkok. He pulls up a chair, orders a beer and engages in the conversation. I guess Bill thinks this is premeditated and up and leaves. Both Bangkok and me straight-up beg him to stay. Bill leaves regardless. Awkwardness ensues. An internal cringe fest. Crickets. At some point he orders me another beer. Suggests dinner. All throughout we both, mature adults that we are, ignore the pink elephant in the room – which is the radio silence that happened somewhere along the line. 

Another round of beer is ordered. I decline. I count out the money I’m due and leave it on the table. He’s mid-beer and this is as good a time as any to up and leave. A surprised “you’re leaving?.” Well, yes. I need a shower, get my backpack and catch a bus. An awkward as fuck half-hug-with-a-chair-in-between and I’m off. Face palming it all the way back to my hostel. 

Sometimes daydreams do come true. This particular one didn’t really pan out – maybe next time. 


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